relationship. They come with territory. We all
have different believes,temperaments,
perception and values. We have different ideas
on how things should look like and what is
important; our views differ from religion to
politics, from marriage to raising children, from
the way we spend money, to where we go on
vocation.
My husband likes fall season, but I like spring.
You could like a romantic comedy,but your
boyfriend likes to watch thrillers. You have your
views on politics and your friend has a totally
opposite view. Your kids think that you are to
strict but you just want to protect them.
All of us deal with conflict situations in our lives.
If you are like me, then you know how hard it
is to prevent yourself from insisting on proving
your point. It's not so easy to overcome the
temptation of proving someone wrong and
winning the argument. However, it's even more
difficult to stay kind and loving after a conflict
of interests creates an argument between you
and someone you love.
This is when a smile and silence come in handy.
You can stop any conflict before it starts by
smiling. When you are smiling you are not
perceived as an opposition but as a friend.
When you smile(not grin sarcastically) it helps
people to stop feeling defensive.
Likewise, it's in your power to choose to
remain silent. Let the other person express their
point of view, then(with a smile) you can
present yours. Conflict is just a difference of
opinion and it's up to us not to let it escalate in
to a big argument.
There are some conflicts that are irresolvable,
and it could be in your best interest to refrain
from insisting on proving your point.
If it is something minor, like the choice of the
movie you want to watch, or the restaurant you
want to eat at, or the destination of your next
vocation; it pays to give in, in order to stop the
argument. Sometimes just by this act of
maturity you can create a change of attitude in
the other person.
When it is something more serious, like politics
or religion, finances or our core values, we need
to agree to disagree and we must remember
that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It
is also helpful to realize that we never see the
whole picture and there is always a "slight"
possibility that we could be wrong.
When the issue of conflict is about your
marriage or raising your children,it might be a
good idea to seek the help and the expertise of
a professional.
When it comes to minor things, ask yourself this
question,"Would I rather be happy or right?"
Remember, being always right is a very lonely
place.
Here is to smile and silence!
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